i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
