ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
