if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize