I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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