i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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