Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
