Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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