So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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