Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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