trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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