she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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