Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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