i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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