So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
