And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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