i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
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we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
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I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
BRING THE BAGELS
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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