There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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