Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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