I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
