Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I will be naked everywhere
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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