So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
