Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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