I think i sorta joined a cult last night
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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