I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
