I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
