Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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