eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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