Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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