can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it hurts more in the daytime
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
