part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
