i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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