so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
