I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
