I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
