Jerry, you need to find god
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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