I want to make a zoo with you.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
