my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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