Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
