btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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