u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
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I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
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I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.