Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize