That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My ATM looks so different sober.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.