I'm going to jail i love you
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?