Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
