She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
