the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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