Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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