Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
