Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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