My cat gives me a boner
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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