Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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