what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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