just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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