I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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