Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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