I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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