i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
try to milk me bitch
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