just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
