we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
sarcasm needs its own font
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
