i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
