I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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